HeartBrakeHotel

star twist, folded from flecked momogami paper., orig­i­nally uploaded by EricG­jerde.

All of your friends, cowork­ers, and fam­ily keep telling you that they don’t under­stand why you are still sin­gle if you are quite a catch. You’re attrac­tive, suc­cess­ful, and are always up for a good time. There­fore, you decide to go to one of the online dat­ing sites, go out more, or hire a match­maker in hopes that you will find the right per­son. It should be easy for you, but then again, you remain sin­gle. Why? You keep won­der­ing how some­one like you is still sin­gle when you have so much going for you. The prob­lem is not you. It might be how you are going about it. You see your­self as a good catch so you should try to find some­one who will be a won­der­ful and sup­port­ing part­ner. You never want to set­tle for sec­ond best, espe­cially in love, so you should try to put your­self in a posi­tion to asso­ciate with high-caliber, suc­cess­ful sin­gles. Being selec­tive is great, but you don’t want exclude a won­der­ful per­son just because he/she does not quite fit your criteria.

Prob­lem One: You are too selec­tive in who you want to meet

All of us have some type of check­list that we use when seek­ing a part­ner. How­ever, some of us have exten­sive check­lists with con­tra­dic­tory items that make it impos­si­ble for us to find a real per­son. If you have too many deal break­ers on a check­list, then you are never going to find some­one who has even at least 80% of what you list.

Solu­tion: Elim­i­nate some items from the checklist.

Write down your check­list on a piece of paper. Go down the list and really think about what is impor­tant for you to have in a part­ner. Online dat­ing makes it easy for you to check too many attrib­utes you want the other per­son to have. When you meet some­one ran­domly, you don’t really get to go through your check­list. When you go on a date with that per­son, you might real­ize that you wasted time on some­one who didn’t even remotely come close to the per­son you are seek­ing. A match­mak­ing ser­vice is another alter­na­tive that gives you the strengths of both. You talk with a match­maker who is able to tell you if your check­list is unre­al­is­tic and if you need to trim down. It’s time that you start think­ing about what is impor­tant for the per­son you are seek­ing to have, and not have way too many things on your checklist.

Prob­lem Two: Go to the places peo­ple you want to find hang out

If you want to meet a suc­cess­ful pro­fes­sional like your­self, then you need to go to the places you would find these peo­ple hang­ing out at. This doesn’t mean the dive down the street you love to fre­quent, or the bar that becomes a total meat mar­ket at night. You are look­ing for high-quality peo­ple like your­self who could poten­tially be a per­fect fit for you.

Solu­tion: Hang out where pro­fes­sion­als would hang

You need to head to the places like cof­fee shops, pro­fes­sional happy hours, and the restau­rants where every­one rushes to get some food before head­ing back to work. If you don’t know, then ask your friends and cowork­ers to see where the hot spots are to find the right per­son you are seek­ing to date. Another good ref­er­ence is match­mak­ers. It’s their job to find out where the places where high-quality peo­ple hang out, so why not check with them to see where you should go.

Prob­lem Three: You rely on chance instead of tak­ing a sophis­ti­cated approach to find the right person

You are extremely busy, so you don’t have the time to look for a life-long part­ner. There­fore, you rely on luck and chance for you meet the right per­son. You try online dat­ing because that is the quick­est way to have tons of sin­gles read­ily avail­able. Alter­na­tively, you hope that one day when you are out and about with friends, you will bump into the love of your life. Wrong! Unless you get out there and find a win­ning approach to find that per­son, you are prob­a­bly more often that not going to remain single.

Solu­tion: Start think­ing of ways to find the right person

This is a deci­sion that will affect the rest of your future, so why are you tak­ing it lightly? If you are too busy to seek the right per­son or are clue­less on how to begin, there are many alter­na­tives to help you along the way. Online dat­ing deliv­ers instant prospects that you can sift through and see which ones are the most attrac­tive to you. If you start fre­quent­ing places that pro­fes­sion­als go, then you might have a chance of find­ing some­one as well. A match­maker will do all the leg­work for you and dia­gram a blue­print on the approach to take that is com­fort­able for you. You are able to meet high-quality peo­ple, like your­self, while still focus­ing on other aspects of your life.