Posts Tagged ‘giving up on love’

Comments

Feeling Discouraged


2010
01.25

Tags: , ,
Posted in dating | Comments

Rebel

My sis­ter told me not to give up and started an EHar­mony account for me again.  I decided that I am busy, but ok, I will give it a shot.  I start talk­ing to this guy, and he asks to meet tomor­row.  Even though I am busy, I was look­ing for­ward to get­ting out of the house and meet­ing some­one new.  I check my EHar­mony account today, and he closed the match.  Reason?

“Want to pur­sue other matches.”

I’m feel­ing dis­cour­aged.  I know I shouldn’t be like this for one per­son, but why is it so hard for me to find some­one?  Even my ex, who ruined my life, has found some­one, and I can’t find a sin­gle per­son? Am I des­tined to be alone?  I don’t want to be 40 and still dat­ing ran­dom guys. 

I hon­estly feel that there is some­thing wrong with me.  I’m so tired of peo­ple say­ing that I am beau­ti­ful, smart, and have it going on, and I will find some­one new.  It’s been how long, and I still can’t find a sin­gle person?

Should I give up? I am tired of being rejected. I really am.  It’s one of the rea­sons that I have been obsessed with work.  I hate feel­ing like no one wants to take a chance to be with me.  I’m 31, and I feel like the boat is leaving. 

Comments

Temporarily Forgetting About Love


2010
01.06

Tags: , , ,
Posted in love | Comments

empty inside

Last year, I hoped that by the end of 2010, I would be engaged.  How­ever, I never found any­one last year, so it’s doubt­ful that this will hap­pen.  I’ve decided to forego love for awhile.  My busi­ness is tak­ing off, and I want to ded­i­cate all of my energy and effort to finally quit­ting my job and free­lance full-time.  There­fore, I don’t have time for love. 

Behind my back, my sis­ter re-established my EHar­mony account, but I told her that she can do that because I don’t have any hope for love right now.  It’d be sur­pris­ing if she does find some­one for me, but I am not hold­ing my breath.  My friend, who’s wed­ding is in Mex­ico, found her fiancée on the dat­ing site, and in the first month.  I had the sub­scrip­tion for three months and didn’t find any­one.  Well…not entirely true.  I found depressed guy who wasted two months of my life.  I guess in a way, I did find some­one in the first month. 

Today, my friend brought her friend to lunch.  He was hot, and I couldn’t help but look at him.  I saw him star­ing at me too, and I felt an instant attrac­tion.  How­ever, I forced myself to not think about it.  I have to con­cen­trate on my busi­ness, and I hate hav­ing to do the whole awk­ward “I  have kids” speech, so I’d rather not exert any energy.  Not going to lie though, I couldn’t help but feel tingly inside when he looked at me.  I noticed that when he hugged me good­bye, he kind of lin­gered, and I did as well. 

Ok back to work.