HeartBrakeHotel » Family http://heartbrakehotel.com he said/she said love and dating conversations Thu, 18 Mar 2010 01:47:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Don’t judge me because my mom and I aren’t close! http://heartbrakehotel.com/2009/11/13/dont-judge-me-because-my-mom-and-i-arent-close/ http://heartbrakehotel.com/2009/11/13/dont-judge-me-because-my-mom-and-i-arent-close/#comments Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:40:21 +0000 Dr. Prentice http://heartbrakehotel.com/?p=108 Would you judge me because I am not close with my mom?]]> I just cant get along with her.

I just can’t get along with her.

I recently read an article that talked about how Michelle Obama gave woman dating advice on how to find a good man. One of the points she made was pay close attention to how a young man treats his mom. This got me to thinking about an ongoing debate I have with a few of my female friends who are in the dating/courting process.

It is a fact that myself and my mom are not shall we say the closests. I rarely share very personal things with her and we may talk once a week. Due to family events, we have no choice but to stay in touch but I wouldn’t say we are close. In fact, it is a chore to speak with her at times and there just has never been that warm fuzzy feeling. When I was younger, my mom and I would get into numerous arguments and I ended up on punishment many, many times. Other times, my mom would be “selective” in terms of which messages I would get from my friends. The selectiveness was due to the race of the person calling me. Of course, this infuriated me. Simple as that. One time, my mom didn’t approve of a young lady I was dating and we ended up not speaking for a year and a half which coincided with the length of time I was dating this young lady. When I say we didn’t talk, I mean I saw her for the Christmas holidays and that was the only time we talked. No phone calls or anything for 540 days. Of course I played a role in this, but the fact is that we just aren’t that close.

Would you judge me because of this? I would hope not. Many times I am wary of even introducing my mom to potential young ladies I may date. I have seen it time and time again just ruin the whole dynamic because my mother is just a tough person to get along with and get to know on a genuine level. Keep that in mind when I don’t talk about my mom often or speak in length about our history before you do get a chance to meet her. I say all this to remind you not to judge me because my mom and I aren’t close. You could be dismissing a good thing for a poor reason.

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Am I running out of time?

You sit here. Over 30 years old. All your closest friends are married. Many of them have kids. Now they are beginning to play kids sports together. They take family trips together. When it is guys night out they love to live vicariously through me but that last but a night. What happened to how it was in the late 80’s television show ‘A Different World’? I thought you go to college or grad school and meet your supposed wife and live happily ever after? How naive I was in my younger years. They say “be patient” or “all good things come to those who wait”. Really? I hope so because my patience is being tested. If my hopes were an emotion, they would be wary. Generally you assume that all your closests friends and family will be around when it is finally time to get hitched. What if that is not the case? What if a parent passes away? What if a close friend or sibling suddenly goes? These questions roll through my head on a periodic basis. I’m not trying to be morbid but this needs to be asked.

I see some friends who are active with their kids. I want that. Even older friends play competitive sports with their kids. I would love that. But … Am I running out of time?

Single life is cool don’t get me wrong. But single forever? Not so much. I work, I play, I am open to new ideas … But so far that elusive great one has not appeared. Will it work out for me before the clock strikes midnight?

Or am I out of time?


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