Posts Tagged ‘exes’

Trouble Letting Go of Ex


2009
10.02

Merry-go-round2

It seems like every time I decide to let go of my ex, she comes crawl­ing back when I least expect it. In July, she lit­er­ally told me to “f*ck off” and leave her alone. This is when I was just try­ing to be friends with, in hopes that some­thing could rekin­dle, and we could be together. After months of not hear­ing from her, I get a text mes­sage. “I’m glad that you’re happy. I read your blog” I shouldn’t have responded, but I did. I just wrote back: “I hope you are happy as well. Bye L.” She kept tex­ting, but I ignored them. It’s done.

I spent over three and half years wait­ing around hop­ing that she would even­tu­ally close her legs to any guy or girl who came around and focus on me.  The day never came.  I find out this past spring that while she could never be faith­ful to me, she was to another woman.  It pained me.  My friend thinks it’s cause she always felt like I was the one with the power in the rela­tion­ship, so she always felt like she had to rebel.  I think he might be right because she used to always say she was so weak with me.  Even when she said she didn’t want to talk to me, she said it’s cause she is too obsessed with  me.

I have started dat­ing this guy, and I am feel­ing pretty pos­i­tive about it.  We seem to get along, and he makes me smile.  Will things work out between us?  Who knows, but all I can do is remain opti­mistic and not reac­quaint myself with peo­ple who con­stantly cheat and lie to me.  I still love her, but love isn’t everything.

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Letting Go of a Past Relationship


2009
08.20
past

leav­ing the past behind you…, orig­i­nally uploaded by Jef­frey Eric.

Every self-help book that I have read has the same phi­los­o­phy when it comes to the past. Leave it behind. You will never be able to move for­ward if you are still dwelling on it. It’s some­thing that I keep get­ting bet­ter at doing in all parts of my life, except my love life.

I keep think­ing about two of my exes, and I know that I won’t be able to find some­one who I can be in a healthy rela­tion­ship with until I for­get them. They were both detri­men­tal to my emo­tional and phys­i­cal health, so I know that I can’t keep think­ing about them. Out of two, I will have to say that L. is the one I really have to stop think­ing about. Our three-year rela­tion­ship was filled with her con­stant cheat­ing, lies, and psy­cho­log­i­cal imbal­ance. She was abu­sive and mean. I know that she hasn’t changed, even though she says she has, so I don’t know why it’s so hard to stop think­ing about this girl.

It’s hard when it’s some­one of the same gen­der. She is not just your lover; she is also your best friend. With a guy, you can mope around for a bit, but even­tu­ally, you get up and keep going. With a woman, you feel like you have no one, espe­cially when you alien­ated every­one to the point that it was just you two.

I am slowly for­get­ting about her cause I know that she has ridicu­lous issues. A month ago, I joined eHar­mony, and I am meet­ing some amaz­ing guys. There are three that I am really inter­ested in, so I am excited to say that I am going out with my top one out of three this Sat­ur­day, so wish me luck!


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