So I went out on a date this weekend. Actually went to an aquarium which is a cool spot to go on a date. Great conversation and learning and cool things. I definitely slept on this as a location for dates and will look to coming back in the future. Afterwards, we went over to have some dinner and had some interesting conversation. One of the first questions she asked me at dinner was whether or not I was “A Christian”. So … yes, I am. But then throughout the rest of the date she made a few other references to spending time with the lord. She even made reference to it when I sent her a text message, saying she “spent some time with the lord” on her Sunday morning. Just for reference, I have had some interesting rough experiences with religion issues mixed in with dating.

So I ask you … am I making a mountain out of a molehill or should this be a red (or yellow) flag for me?

Related Posts:

• Month in Review – January 2010
• A perplexing situation …
• My 2010 To Do List
• Remind me again – What is the Rule?
• One of the Most Boring Dates I’ve Ever Been On

As you recall, I made a list of goals for myself for 2010. One month in I will review my progress.

1) End the use of ehar​mony​.com when my sub­scrip­tion expires in January/February. I have been on this site for 18+ months and met some very nice peo­ple and even dated a hand­ful of ladies. I am burned out no longer actively engaged in fol­low­ing the ehar­mony process (trans­la­tion burned out), so I must move on and try some­thing new.

This is done. Subscription ran out on January 27th. Time for a break from this. Didn’t net me a major one but I did meet some nice people.  A+

2) Engage in one social activ­ity per week. This means get­ting out to a party, happy hour, con­cert, net­work­ing event … some­thing that is social and out among old and new friends.

I did pretty well with this one. Add in the networking event and I believe I get a 4/4 weeks. We will go with a B+ because I didn’t exceed expectations.

3) Try a new online dat­ing source as they become more and more pos­si­ble. Chem​istry​.com is a lead­ing con­tender at the cur­rent time.

Haven’t gotten this one started yet. Incomplete.

4) Take one class that will fur­ther engage me in a social atmos­phere. I am think­ing about either a cook­ing class or per­haps a dance (salsa) class.

Have done some research on this but need to at least sign up for a cooking class and research more dancing salsa classes.  C

5) Try speed dat­ing one time.

Was actually signed up for a charity speed dating function but it was postponed. Will wait to see if this one is announced again or will find another one.   C

6) Con­tinue to more actively post entries on this blog regard­ing my dat­ing life. This has turned into a great source of ther­apy for myself.

So far so good with this one. Maybe a few more entries but I did well in January. B–

7) Join a movie reviewing/movie view­ing club to first grow my inter­est in movies and also to attempt to meet other peo­ple ladies inter­ested in the same thing.

Have done nothing with this one. Need to get on the ball. D

8 ) Con­tinue to par­tic­i­pate in promis­ing social sport­ing activies (soc­cer, yoga) which lend them­selves to gen­uine meetings.

Yep. All over this one. Keep it going. Maybe more yoga too. A–

9) Trust my instincts with regards to red flags and warn­ing signs when (attempt­ing to) dat­ing someone.

Pretty solid as well. Didn’t slip up so far. B

10) Try to release all worry about meet­ing some­one and do my best not to dwell on cur­rent cir­cum­stances and develop a more pos­i­tive out­look. (This will by far be the most dif­fi­cult and hard­est to track).

As you can tell from the tenor of my last post here, this one has gone south quickly. Need to work on this for February. Will be a little challenging because of Valentine’s Day, but let’s see what happens.

As you can see, I have plenty of work to do. Stay tuned for a March report after this month.

Related Posts:

• Is this too over the top?
• A perplexing situation …
• My 2010 To Do List
• Remind me again – What is the Rule?
• One of the Most Boring Dates I’ve Ever Been On

Should we go out?

The other day I went to a concert with a pretty good friend of mine and we had a very, very amazing good time. This is a friend of mine who has recently broken up with a boyfriend of hers of about two years. Of course outsiders could tell that her specific relationship was pretty one-sided with her bringing much more to the table than her ex-boyfriend was. We just had to wait to see it play through including a brief reuniting. So now of course she is now on that dreaded “rebound”.

I sit on the outside wondering a few things. In the past she has stated that I personally have all the qualities she would want in a man. In fact, she even wondered if she knew any woman who would be “good enough” for me (she was trying to rack her brain for a friend of hers to hook me up with). Now I wonder maybe we should go out on a date. I wonder how it would turn out. Of course you have the to consider the whole waiting game and not trying to date someone who is obviously on the rebound. The counter to that statement is what if you wait and someone comes in and scoops her up? Ugh … isn’t timing the worst?

Now she is obviously out there meeting guys and stuff but it was her idea for us to go to this concert. I don’t want to make a mountain over a molehill but in my opinion, there is some very good potential between the two of us. I am confused because I don’t want to miss any signs but then don’t want to read too much into any signs as well. The worst thing to do would be to not act and miss a good thing. Then, I could act and ruin a friendship. As a good friend of mine did tell me , “with you friends, there is always potential because you all get along well. ” So that really clears things up, NOT!

What should I do? I could just keep being steady and spend as much time with her as possible and see what grows. Just don’t want to fall into the buddy zone but actually I am already there and trying to take it maybe to that next level.

What should I do?

Related Posts:

• Is this too over the top?
• Month in Review – January 2010
• My 2010 To Do List
• Remind me again – What is the Rule?
• Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? Yes, They Can

1) End the use of eharmony.com when my subscription expires in January/February. I have been on this site for 18+ months and met some very nice people and even dated a handful of ladies. I am burned out no longer actively engaged in following the eharmony process (translation burned out), so I must move on and try something new.

2) Engage in one social activity per week. This means getting out to a party, happy hour, concert, networking event … something that is social and out among old and new friends.

3) Try a new online dating source as they become more and more possible. Chemistry.com is a leading contender at the current time.

4) Take one class that will further engage me in a social atmosphere. I am thinking about either a cooking class or perhaps a dance (salsa) class.

5) Try speed dating one time.

6) Continue to more actively post entries on this blog regarding my dating life. This has turned into a great source of therapy for myself.

7) Join a movie reviewing/movie viewing club to first grow my interest in movies and also to attempt to meet other people ladies interested in the same thing.

8 ) Continue to participate in promising social sporting activies (soccer, yoga) which lend themselves to genuine meetings.

9) Trust my instincts with regards to red flags and warning signs when (attempting to) dating someone.

10) Try to release all worry about meeting someone and do my best not to dwell on current circumstances and develop a more positive outlook. (This will by far be the most difficult and hardest to track).

What do we think? Any more I should add to the list? Meet me in the comments section.

Related Posts:

• Realize I’m Lucky That Men Adore Me
• Dating a Short Guy
• Don’t judge me because my mom and I aren’t close!
• Afraid of Falling in Love
• Online Dating vs. Matchmakers

Related Posts:

• Dating a Short Guy
• Realize I’m Lucky That Men Adore Me
• You Need Love and Patience
• Is this too over the top?
• Month in Review – January 2010

I’m way too picky, and I am trying to be more relaxed about things, but I can’t help it. It’s done with Short Guy after last night. We head to dinner. It was nice of him to come to my neck of the woods. Men always act like they can’t head this way, so that was a nice gesture on his part. We’re there waiting for the table, and I am talking my head off cause he is just standing there. I’m talking, talking, and talking. Then, I notice this hot, TALL, black man, and I can’t help but think: Damn, I wish I wasn’t with this dude. What made it worse was that the guy started talking to me when he went to close his tab, and I was kind of flirting too.

All of a sudden, I feel breathing, and we (hot guy and me) look down and there is the short dude.

I cringed when the guy said “your girl did good not spilling her drink.”

I wanted to scream, “I am not his girl!!!!!”

I felt awful after thinking it, but sometimes your subconscious says the things you are thinking without you wanting it to or not.

We grab a table, and I was already bored and thinking of all the things that I could have been doing. One thing that bugged me is that he kept saying that he is all about routine, and he can’t break that routine. I cringed. I can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t have a spontaneous body in his bones. He eats the same meals every day. What the hell is that?! I thought there was hope when he said he switches it up, but it just meant switching peas to rice.

Then he starts talking about his entire routine, and why he changed it. I sometimes wonder how people live such boring lives. I realized how boring life would be with this guy when I said that I don’t play video games so much anymore cause I will not leave the house until I beat the game. He starts going “Yes!” It’s like dude, it doesn’t mean that I won’t leave the house now. I am a “Get and Go” kinda girl, so you’re on your own if you think I am not going to get the hell up to go somewhere.

Two things about me: 1. I don’t share food and 2. I hate repetition. With the food thing, I hate when someone offers you his food just so he can have some of yours. He offered, and I said no. I noticed that he kept staring at my food, so after a few seconds, I asked him if he wanted a bite. He jumped at it. I wanted to say to him: Next time don’t do the whole fake-me-out “Do you want some?” cause you want my food.

Then, he begins telling me this story. He goes, “I don’t know if you heard it.” When he began, I realized I did, so I said, “Yeah, you told me about it.” He pauses and CONTINUES TELLING THE DAMN STORY! I was annoyed as all hell. Why did you ask if I heard it if you were going to tell me anyway?! I just tuned him out and started thinking about all the cute guys I saw yesterday and today that I wasn’t able to talk to cause I’m hearing this guy talk about his boring existence.

He also has this habit of getting all high pitch about things. It sounds more annoying cause of his southern accent. Every time he gets high pitch with it, I wanted to shake him and tell him that girls don’t like men with high voices. He is clueless.

He walked me to my car, and I hugged him and back off before he kissed me. I felt like I was on a Seinfeld episode.

Related Posts:

• Why Didn’t He Call Me After First Date?
• Is this too over the top?
• Month in Review – January 2010
• A perplexing situation …
• My 2010 To Do List

I am not looking forward to this.

Soon will come the time when I travel back home to visit family and friends for the Christmas holiday. As the years have passed by and I get older and older, there is one question which continues to be asked and the amount of times I get this question continues to rise faster than a loaf of bread cooking in the oven.

“So when are you getting married?” “You have a girlfriend yet?”.

This two part question just drives me crazy. I have resigned myself to just saying “She’s on her way. Let me see if she is here yet.” I smile and quickly change the subject. I just can’t take it anymore. This is the one part of my holiday trip I am dreading because the subject comes up so often and I have no answer. In fact at family gatherings of at least 25 people, it always comes up during the middle portion of dinner when people have taken a break from eating so much and there is a hush over the room and here it comes .… Ugh. The simple answer is that I am just too picky and saying that will open up the door to many, many unwanted and unsolicited opinions.

Maybe I should cancel my trip back home this Christmas. No questions = no stress.

Related Posts:

• Is this too over the top?
• Sometimes I Think I Need to Get Away
• Month in Review – January 2010
• A perplexing situation …
• My 2010 To Do List

I have never imagined that I would date a guy who was shorter than 5’11″. Since I started dating, all of my boyfriends have been taller than me, and I have been able to wear heels with no issues of towering over them. I have met a wonderful guy, and we are both attracted to one another. The only problem is that he’s short. He says he is 5’9″, and I’m 5’7″, but I looked in the mirror when we were at this party, and I don’t know if it was my hair, but I looked way taller than him. This is with me wearing flat boots!

One of my friends is super short, and his girlfriend is my height, and they seem cute together. He wanted to date me, but I was so hung up on height that I didn’t go there. Now I see how he treats his girlfriend like a queen, and I wonder if that would have been me. I never imagined that I would be in this position. Liking a guy who is way too short for me. I love my heels too much, and I don’t know if I could let them go.

I remember one time I went out with a guy who said he was 5’6, but it felt like he was only 5’4. We had a great time, but I couldn’t let go on how short he was.

This is one of my issues. I am way too picky and everything turns me off. Should I not even go there with this guy cause he is short? Or should I just give it a go?

Has any girls dated shorter guys? Was it awkward? Did you have to sacrifice your heels? Guys, would you date a girl who is taller than you?

Photo Detail:  too tall, originally uploaded by dargodargo.

Related Posts:

• Realize I’m Lucky That Men Adore Me
• My 2010 To Do List
• Remind me again – What is the Rule?
• Don’t judge me because my mom and I aren’t close!
• Afraid of Falling in Love

I just can’t get along with her.

I recently read an article that talked about how Michelle Obama gave woman dating advice on how to find a good man. One of the points she made was pay close attention to how a young man treats his mom. This got me to thinking about an ongoing debate I have with a few of my female friends who are in the dating/courting process.

It is a fact that myself and my mom are not shall we say the closests. I rarely share very personal things with her and we may talk once a week. Due to family events, we have no choice but to stay in touch but I wouldn’t say we are close. In fact, it is a chore to speak with her at times and there just has never been that warm fuzzy feeling. When I was younger, my mom and I would get into numerous arguments and I ended up on punishment many, many times. Other times, my mom would be “selective” in terms of which messages I would get from my friends. The selectiveness was due to the race of the person calling me. Of course, this infuriated me. Simple as that. One time, my mom didn’t approve of a young lady I was dating and we ended up not speaking for a year and a half which coincided with the length of time I was dating this young lady. When I say we didn’t talk, I mean I saw her for the Christmas holidays and that was the only time we talked. No phone calls or anything for 540 days. Of course I played a role in this, but the fact is that we just aren’t that close.

Would you judge me because of this? I would hope not. Many times I am wary of even introducing my mom to potential young ladies I may date. I have seen it time and time again just ruin the whole dynamic because my mother is just a tough person to get along with and get to know on a genuine level. Keep that in mind when I don’t talk about my mom often or speak in length about our history before you do get a chance to meet her. I say all this to remind you not to judge me because my mom and I aren’t close. You could be dismissing a good thing for a poor reason.

Related Posts:

• My 2010 To Do List
• Dating a Short Guy
• Realize I’m Lucky That Men Adore Me
• Afraid of Falling in Love
• You Need Love and Patience

Related Posts:

• My 2010 To Do List
• Dating a Short Guy
• Remind me again – What is the Rule?
• Don’t judge me because my mom and I aren’t close!
• Afraid of Falling in Love