Archive for the ‘dating’ Category

I’m in Trouble


2010
01.21


I went to a party this past Sun­day and I real­ized I am in trou­ble. I was in a lounge/club and there were a few peo­ple there. As the party con­tin­ued, I became so focused on the music and what the DJ was play­ing, my inter­est in min­gling with the crowd waned quickly. Please note I was sup­posed to meet some peo­ple there but they no-showed so I was left there kind of alone (which is cool). I did see some peo­ple there that I knew so we chat­ted for a bit. For the whole part of the night though, I was just groov­ing to the music. And felt good too. How­ever, I didn’t min­gle very much so the night would seem to be a fail­ure, right?

I’m in trou­ble and I don’t know how to get better.

Image cour­test of Michael Alan

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Should I Settle?


2010
01.12


-
Set­tle
Verb Phrases
set­tle for, to be sat­is­fied with: to set­tle for less.

Is it a bad thing to set­tle? Is our list of things we want in a mate just too damn much long? I have been think­ing about this lately. Ever since I went to see the movie “Up in the Air” and one of the best scenes in the movie, the younger female lead actress speaks about set­tling and how it is a bad thing (by def­i­n­i­tion she says). Won’t I regret it later on in life if I set­tle? I can’t call it. I admit, some­times it is lit­tle things that really bother me about ladies here and there.

Let me give you an exam­ple. It’s a pretty small exam­ple, but still gets my point across. There was some­one who I have been admir­ing from afar and we are in the same group activ­ity together. Lately she had been impress­ing me with her com­mit­ment to our group and attend­ing all of our weekly meet­ings. Note she has a his­tory in the past of being flaky and just not show­ing up or rsvp’ing a decline when the group really needed her. Very lit­tle issue but just a sign of flak­i­ness. My feel­ing is don’t com­mit to some­thing if you are not going to attend reg­u­larly when the group is depend­ing on you on a weekly basis. So tonight, she flaked again. I fig­ured maybe she had a large amount of home­work to do or maybe had to stay late at work. Nope, she had to do laun­dry. Hmmm … seems like she has regressed her true col­ors are showing.

Am I over­re­act­ing? This lit­tle inci­dent both­ers me because I see this as a sign of what one might do with more major events than a group activ­ity. This would be enough to just write her off and for­get about pur­su­ing my admiration.

What do you think?

Image cour­test of S-Nocturnus

A perplexing situation …


2010
01.01

Should we go out?

Should we go out?


Happy New Year to all our read­ers! As the year turns and we enter another decade, I am look­ing at a per­plex­ing situation.

The other day I went to a con­cert with a pretty good friend of mine and we had a very, very amaz­ing good time. This is a friend of mine who has recently bro­ken up with a boyfriend of hers of about two years. Of course out­siders could tell that her spe­cific rela­tion­ship was pretty one-sided with her bring­ing much more to the table than her ex-boyfriend was. We just had to wait to see it play through includ­ing a brief reunit­ing. So now of course she is now on that dreaded “rebound”.

I sit on the out­side won­der­ing a few things. In the past she has stated that I per­son­ally have all the qual­i­ties she would want in a man. In fact, she even won­dered if she knew any woman who would be “good enough” for me (she was try­ing to rack her brain for a friend of hers to hook me up with). Now I won­der maybe we should go out on a date. I won­der how it would turn out. Of course you have the to con­sider the whole wait­ing game and not try­ing to date some­one who is obvi­ously on the rebound. The counter to that state­ment is what if you wait and some­one comes in and scoops her up? Ugh … isn’t tim­ing the worst?

Now she is obvi­ously out there meet­ing guys and stuff but it was her idea for us to go to this con­cert. I don’t want to make a moun­tain over a mole­hill but in my opin­ion, there is some very good poten­tial between the two of us. I am con­fused because I don’t want to miss any signs but then don’t want to read too much into any signs as well. The worst thing to do would be to not act and miss a good thing. Then, I could act and ruin a friend­ship. As a good friend of mine did tell me , “with you friends, there is always poten­tial because you all get along well. ” So that really clears things up, NOT!

What should I do? I could just keep being steady and spend as much time with her as pos­si­ble and see what grows. Just don’t want to fall into the buddy zone but actu­ally I am already there and try­ing to take it maybe to that next level.

What should I do?

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Remind me again — What is the Rule?


2009
12.14


So this past week­end I had the plea­sure of meet­ing a nice young lady. While I was work­ing a party I had some very enter­tain­ing and fun con­ver­sa­tion with some­one and we exchanged num­bers. A close friend of mine would be espe­cially proud of me for not “drop­ping the pass” and recov­er­ing enough to pay atten­tion to a poten­tial hint. Let’s hope that the con­ver­sa­tion was gen­uine and I am afforded the chance to get to know here bet­ter. Now that we have passed the ini­tial stage, I have to get the young lady on the phone and talk to her some more. We need to find out if I was dream­ing or is it real­ity. Do I call her now (it’s been over 24 hours) or do I wait a bit? I am think­ing I call her now. What do you say?

Five Safety Tips for Online Dating


2009
12.10

1. Trust your instincts. As humans, we have all been blessed with a com­plex psy­cho­log­i­cal tool we col­lo­qui­ally refer to as our ‘gut feel­ing’. This tool uses a com­bi­na­tion of con­scious and sub-conscious obser­va­tions and prompts to let us know when to get out of a given sit­u­a­tion. Never ignore your instincts. Refer to your ‘lit­tle inner voice’ every time you read a pro­file, a response to an email, have a phone con­ver­sa­tion or meet in person.

2. Take your time. In the ini­tial stages of online dat­ing, it is best to keep your per­sonal infor­ma­tion pri­vate. This includes your name, sur­name, home tele­phone num­ber and home address. It may seem prud­ish to with­hold this infor­ma­tion but there are some scary things you should be aware of, namely:

· With your home phone num­ber, any per­son could find out where you live, what your income is and even the value of your home.

· Your full name can allow peo­ple to ‘Google’ your name and per­form an inter­net search that may result in them know­ing where you work, what you do and even what your phone num­ber is.

· With both your home num­ber and your full name they can find out basi­cally everything.

3. Use anony­mous com­mu­ni­ca­tion meth­ods. Set up a free email account with Yahoo, Gmail or Hot­mail to facil­i­tate your email com­mu­ni­ca­tion and use a pre­paid cell phone account or Skype for tele­phone con­ver­sa­tions. This will allow you more time to get to know the per­son in ques­tion bet­ter before divulging any per­sonal details.

4. Use a rep­utable online dat­ing ser­vice. There is a say­ing that goes ‘you get what you pay for’ and this is true for online dat­ing as well. Free dat­ing ser­vices are all good and well, but take into account that ‘free’ means that peo­ple who use the site are com­pletely uniden­ti­fied since they don’t need to pro­vide any credit card infor­ma­tion. This pro­vides a greater oppor­tu­nity for poten­tially dan­ger­ous indi­vid­u­als to mis­use the platform.

5. Be on the look­out for odd char­ac­ter­is­tics. Once you start com­mu­ni­cat­ing with a poten­tial mate via email or tele­phone you should be wary of any odd char­ac­ter­is­tics you may notice. Are they eas­ily affronted, do they seem con­trol­ling, etc.? If you notice any­thing that is not above board, that should be your cue to tuck tail and run.

I knew a girl who was on Match​.com. She would talk to a guy for a week online, and then go on a date with him. It wasn’t that she did that. What was worse is that she would give her real home address, jump in his car, and have drinks with him. There were so many times that I try to tell her how dan­ger­ous that was, but she didn’t lis­ten. It’s def­i­nitely some­thing that is a big “No No” when doing online dating..

1. Trust your instincts. As humans, we have all been blessed with a com­plex psy­cho­log­i­cal tool we col­lo­qui­ally refer to as our ‘gut feel­ing’. This tool uses a com­bi­na­tion of con­scious and sub-conscious obser­va­tions and prompts to let us know when to get out of a given sit­u­a­tion. Never ignore your in … Posted via web from Love and the City