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Everything Happens for a Reason


2010
03.01

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This is a say­ing the many peo­ple use when you go through tough times in life whether it be a death in the fam­ily or a breakup or los­ing a job. Very rarely will you dis­cover the rea­son for this spe­cific event in a short period of time. I had the for­tune of hear­ing a lit­tle gos­sip on Sat­ur­day that related to a young lady I liked back in the July/August time­frame who chose a pub­lic party to be rude to me and basi­cally show me she didn’t respect me or even like me like that. This was an event that infu­ri­ated me and took me a lit­tle bit to get over. Well, this week­end I heard that this same girl (who was dat­ing the same boy she “left” me for at the afore­men­tioned party) had cheated on this boy with another guy. When I heard this infor­ma­tion, I imme­di­ately knew why I had such a rude expe­ri­ence with her. That was done to save me from future heartache from her because she is obvi­ously not wor­thy of my time. A few close friends would tell me this, but I had to learn on my own. Now I have con­fir­ma­tion. Thank you. Now if I could only find out why I few other things have hap­pened I would be straight. I will be patient wait.

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Dating When Grieving


2010
02.12

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IMG_1123

A guy on EHar­mony, who was the only one I was really inter­ested in wants to meet for drinks.  He doesn’t know that I am deal­ing with a death of a loved one, so for him, I am avail­able.  I feel like I don’t want to do any­thing.  I don’t have much emo­tion, and I feel empty inside.  I feel more alone than ever, and I don’t care to really find any­one now.  How­ever, is it healthy to want to not do a damn thing?  I know it isn’t, but I just don’t seem to care. 

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My Favorite Valentine’s Day Memories Part 1


2010
02.11

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Posted in dating, love | Comments


Valentine’s Day is quickly approach­ing and instead of post­ing a bit­ter, angry sad post, I will like to share with all of you some of my favorite Valentine’s Day memories.

The first one takes me back to 10th grade and a crush I had. It was the mid­dle of bas­ket­ball sea­son and I was in an advanced Anatomy & Phys­i­ol­ogy class. My desk­mate was a cutie who was a Var­sity Cheer­leader and also smart as hell. We inter­acted so much dur­ing class and then at times after school because of bas­ket­ball. Of course a crush devel­oped quickly and strongly. Dur­ing high school, I also worked a part time job so I had some extra change. Nor­mally in our high school, for Valentine’s Day they would deliver car­na­tions to peo­ple in their classes (of course you had to pay). I had the genius idea of send­ing her a car­na­tion deliv­ery while we were in class together. A lit­tle bold, but fun, I went for it. The day came and as class was almost over the fire alarm went off. At the same time, here comes the car­na­tion deliv­ery. The impact of my though­ful­ness was gone. She still got the deliv­ery and knew it was from me, but I missed my 15 min­utes of sit­ting next to her after the deliv­ery to really “make my move.”  I never got the chance again.

Nev­er­the­less, this is one of my favorite Valentine’s Day mem­o­ries. Stay tuned for more later on in the week.

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Feeling Discouraged


2010
01.25

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Rebel

My sis­ter told me not to give up and started an EHar­mony account for me again.  I decided that I am busy, but ok, I will give it a shot.  I start talk­ing to this guy, and he asks to meet tomor­row.  Even though I am busy, I was look­ing for­ward to get­ting out of the house and meet­ing some­one new.  I check my EHar­mony account today, and he closed the match.  Reason?

“Want to pur­sue other matches.”

I’m feel­ing dis­cour­aged.  I know I shouldn’t be like this for one per­son, but why is it so hard for me to find some­one?  Even my ex, who ruined my life, has found some­one, and I can’t find a sin­gle per­son? Am I des­tined to be alone?  I don’t want to be 40 and still dat­ing ran­dom guys. 

I hon­estly feel that there is some­thing wrong with me.  I’m so tired of peo­ple say­ing that I am beau­ti­ful, smart, and have it going on, and I will find some­one new.  It’s been how long, and I still can’t find a sin­gle person?

Should I give up? I am tired of being rejected. I really am.  It’s one of the rea­sons that I have been obsessed with work.  I hate feel­ing like no one wants to take a chance to be with me.  I’m 31, and I feel like the boat is leaving. 

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I’m in Trouble


2010
01.21

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I went to a party this past Sun­day and I real­ized I am in trou­ble. I was in a lounge/club and there were a few peo­ple there. As the party con­tin­ued, I became so focused on the music and what the DJ was play­ing, my inter­est in min­gling with the crowd waned quickly. Please note I was sup­posed to meet some peo­ple there but they no-showed so I was left there kind of alone (which is cool). I did see some peo­ple there that I knew so we chat­ted for a bit. For the whole part of the night though, I was just groov­ing to the music. And felt good too. How­ever, I didn’t min­gle very much so the night would seem to be a fail­ure, right?

I’m in trou­ble and I don’t know how to get better.

Image cour­test of Michael Alan

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