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Should I Settle?


2010
01.12

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Posted in dating, love | Comments


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Set­tle
Verb Phrases
set­tle for, to be sat­is­fied with: to set­tle for less.

Is it a bad thing to set­tle? Is our list of things we want in a mate just too damn much long? I have been think­ing about this lately. Ever since I went to see the movie “Up in the Air” and one of the best scenes in the movie, the younger female lead actress speaks about set­tling and how it is a bad thing (by def­i­n­i­tion she says). Won’t I regret it later on in life if I set­tle? I can’t call it. I admit, some­times it is lit­tle things that really bother me about ladies here and there.

Let me give you an exam­ple. It’s a pretty small exam­ple, but still gets my point across. There was some­one who I have been admir­ing from afar and we are in the same group activ­ity together. Lately she had been impress­ing me with her com­mit­ment to our group and attend­ing all of our weekly meet­ings. Note she has a his­tory in the past of being flaky and just not show­ing up or rsvp’ing a decline when the group really needed her. Very lit­tle issue but just a sign of flak­i­ness. My feel­ing is don’t com­mit to some­thing if you are not going to attend reg­u­larly when the group is depend­ing on you on a weekly basis. So tonight, she flaked again. I fig­ured maybe she had a large amount of home­work to do or maybe had to stay late at work. Nope, she had to do laun­dry. Hmmm … seems like she has regressed her true col­ors are showing.

Am I over­re­act­ing? This lit­tle inci­dent both­ers me because I see this as a sign of what one might do with more major events than a group activ­ity. This would be enough to just write her off and for­get about pur­su­ing my admiration.

What do you think?

Image cour­test of S-Nocturnus’

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Temporarily Forgetting About Love


2010
01.06

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Posted in love | Comments

Last year, I hoped that by the end of 2010, I would be engaged.  How­ever, I never found any­one last year, so it’s doubt­ful that this will hap­pen.  I’ve decided to forego love for awhile.  My busi­ness is tak­ing off, and I want to ded­i­cate all of my energy and effort to finally quit­ting my job and free­lance full-time.  There­fore, I don’t have time for love. 

Behind my back, my sis­ter re-established my EHar­mony account, but I told her that she can do that because I don’t have any hope for love right now.  It’d be sur­pris­ing if she does find some­one for me, but I am not hold­ing my breath.  My friend, who’s wed­ding is in Mex­ico, found her fiancée on the dat­ing site, and in the first month.  I had the sub­scrip­tion for three months and didn’t find any­one.  Well…not entirely true.  I found depressed guy who wasted two months of my life.  I guess in a way, I did find some­one in the first month. 

Today, my friend brought her friend to lunch.  He was hot, and I couldn’t help but look at him.  I saw him star­ing at me too, and I felt an instant attrac­tion.  How­ever, I forced myself to not think about it.  I have to con­cen­trate on my busi­ness, and I hate hav­ing to do the whole awk­ward “I  have kids” speech, so I’d rather not exert any energy.  Not going to lie though, I couldn’t help but feel tingly inside when he looked at me.  I noticed that when he hugged me good­bye, he kind of lin­gered, and I did as well. 

Ok back to work.

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A perplexing situation …


2010
01.01

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Posted in dating, tips | Comments

Should we go out?

Should we go out?


Happy New Year to all our read­ers! As the year turns and we enter another decade, I am look­ing at a per­plex­ing situation.

The other day I went to a con­cert with a pretty good friend of mine and we had a very, very amaz­ing good time. This is a friend of mine who has recently bro­ken up with a boyfriend of hers of about two years. Of course out­siders could tell that her spe­cific rela­tion­ship was pretty one-sided with her bring­ing much more to the table than her ex-boyfriend was. We just had to wait to see it play through includ­ing a brief reunit­ing. So now of course she is now on that dreaded “rebound”.

I sit on the out­side won­der­ing a few things. In the past she has stated that I per­son­ally have all the qual­i­ties she would want in a man. In fact, she even won­dered if she knew any woman who would be “good enough” for me (she was try­ing to rack her brain for a friend of hers to hook me up with). Now I won­der maybe we should go out on a date. I won­der how it would turn out. Of course you have the to con­sider the whole wait­ing game and not try­ing to date some­one who is obvi­ously on the rebound. The counter to that state­ment is what if you wait and some­one comes in and scoops her up? Ugh … isn’t tim­ing the worst?

Now she is obvi­ously out there meet­ing guys and stuff but it was her idea for us to go to this con­cert. I don’t want to make a moun­tain over a mole­hill but in my opin­ion, there is some very good poten­tial between the two of us. I am con­fused because I don’t want to miss any signs but then don’t want to read too much into any signs as well. The worst thing to do would be to not act and miss a good thing. Then, I could act and ruin a friend­ship. As a good friend of mine did tell me , “with you friends, there is always poten­tial because you all get along well. ” So that really clears things up, NOT!

What should I do? I could just keep being steady and spend as much time with her as pos­si­ble and see what grows. Just don’t want to fall into the buddy zone but actu­ally I am already there and try­ing to take it maybe to that next level.

What should I do?

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