Archive for November, 2009

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Loneliness and the Holidays


2009
11.30

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love.

The hol­i­days are here, and this is usu­ally when sin­gles start feel­ing the loneli­est. You start think­ing about the times that you had some­one with you to snug­gle up with and buy presents to dur­ing this time. Now, you don’t. I know that is what I’m feel­ing. Yes, I am dat­ing Short Guy, but it’s a new rela­tion­ship (if I can even call it that), and this is around the time when Mr. Big and I ended it due to Julie Gianni. There isn’t a day that passes that I don’t miss him. He had every­thing that I wanted, and I hate that I com­pare every­one to him. I won­der if all thoughts of him will ever leave my mind. I hope that they do, but I don’t think it will be any time soon.

This hol­i­day sea­son I plan on enjoy­ing my time with loved ones and doing all the things that I love doing. Keep­ing busy and being sur­rounded by peo­ple who love me and don’t run away is a good way to bat­tle this lone­li­ness that creeps up around this time. Def­i­nitely plan on doing the same if you feel lonely.


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The Having Kids Debate


2009
11.25

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Posted in dating | Comments

I don’t think things are going to work out with the short guy. One of the rea­sons my ex and I didn’t work out is because out of the blue, he decided that he didn’t want any more chil­dren. It’s some­thing that we had dis­cussed (we both wanted two more), and then he didn’t. Hav­ing at least one more child is some­thing that I want, so I am not going to give that up. Now I make sure to know that up front before I even con­sider being with a guy.

He said that his brother had shown up with his two nieces, so I used that state­ment as an oppor­tu­nity to ask the ques­tion. I said how cute! Do you want any of your own? He responded that hav­ing chil­dren is some­thing that he hasn’t really wanted up to this point (he’s 33!), so he is unde­cided. I said oh ok. I’m really not here to waste my time. I am already com­pro­mis­ing on his height and accent, and now this? I’ve lost interest.

I watch “The Hills,” and that is some­thing the ther­a­pist said to Heidi. You need to be with some­one who wants the same things as you. She’s right. I guess that’s it.

Photo Details: Baby Pen­guins, orig­i­nally uploaded by buy­dogbeds.


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Dating a Short Guy


2009
11.18

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I have never imag­ined that I would date a guy who was shorter than 5’11″. Since I started dat­ing, all of my boyfriends have been taller than me, and I have been able to wear heels with no issues of tow­er­ing over them. I have met a won­der­ful guy, and we are both attracted to one another. The only prob­lem is that he’s short. He says he is 5’9″, and I’m 5’7″, but I looked in the mir­ror when we were at this party, and I don’t know if it was my hair, but I looked way taller than him. This is with me wear­ing flat boots!

One of my friends is super short, and his girl­friend is my height, and they seem cute together. He wanted to date me, but I was so hung up on height that I didn’t go there. Now I see how he treats his girl­friend like a queen, and I won­der if that would have been me. I never imag­ined that I would be in this posi­tion. Lik­ing a guy who is way too short for me. I love my heels too much, and I don’t know if I could let them go.

I remem­ber one time I went out with a guy who said he was 5’6, but it felt like he was only 5’4. We had a great time, but I couldn’t let go on how short he was.

This is one of my issues. I am way too picky and every­thing turns me off. Should I not even go there with this guy cause he is short? Or should I just give it a go?

Has any girls dated shorter guys? Was it awk­ward? Did you have to sac­ri­fice your heels? Guys, would you date a girl who is taller than you?

Photo Detail:  too tall, orig­i­nally uploaded by dar­go­dargo.


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Why Is it So Hard to Find Someone Special to Date?


2009
11.17

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I’ve come to the real­iza­tion that every­one around is either dat­ing, engaged, or mar­ried. The only one who remains alone is me. I don’t even under­stand why I do remain alone. The worst is when some­one says, “You are quite the catch. I can’t believe you are still sin­gle.” Well that makes the two of us.

My friend, who began dat­ing the guy she is with at the same time I started dat­ing my last failed attempt of hav­ing a rela­tion­ship, just told me news that shows that her rela­tion­ship is pro­gress­ing. Even though I didn’t want to, I felt jeal­ous. Why didn’t it work for me? Why doesn’t it ever work for me? I don’t know if it ever will. I really don’t. I seem to be cursed when it comes to love.

It seems like the more pas­sion­ate you are, the more alone you are. It just seems to be the case for some unknown rea­son. I’m really tired of feel­ing this way. It’s been years since I felt like I was with some­one, and I don’t under­stand why it’s so hard for me and so easy for others.

I hon­estly wish some­one would tell me what I am doing wrong cause I don’t know.

Photo Detail: Walk­ing Alone, orig­i­nally uploaded by Chris­t­ian Carocca.

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Don’t judge me because my mom and I aren’t close!


2009
11.13

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I just cant get along with her.

I just can’t get along with her.

I recently read an arti­cle that talked about how Michelle Obama gave woman dat­ing advice on how to find a good man. One of the points she made was pay close atten­tion to how a young man treats his mom. This got me to think­ing about an ongo­ing debate I have with a few of my female friends who are in the dating/courting process.

It is a fact that myself and my mom are not shall we say the clos­ests. I rarely share very per­sonal things with her and we may talk once a week. Due to fam­ily events, we have no choice but to stay in touch but I wouldn’t say we are close. In fact, it is a chore to speak with her at times and there just has never been that warm fuzzy feel­ing. When I was younger, my mom and I would get into numer­ous argu­ments and I ended up on pun­ish­ment many, many times. Other times, my mom would be “selec­tive” in terms of which mes­sages I would get from my friends. The selec­tive­ness was due to the race of the per­son call­ing me. Of course, this infu­ri­ated me. Sim­ple as that. One time, my mom didn’t approve of a young lady I was dat­ing and we ended up not speak­ing for a year and a half which coin­cided with the length of time I was dat­ing this young lady. When I say we didn’t talk, I mean I saw her for the Christ­mas hol­i­days and that was the only time we talked. No phone calls or any­thing for 540 days. Of course I played a role in this, but the fact is that we just aren’t that close.

Would you judge me because of this? I would hope not. Many times I am wary of even intro­duc­ing my mom to poten­tial young ladies I may date. I have seen it time and time again just ruin the whole dynamic because my mother is just a tough per­son to get along with and get to know on a gen­uine level. Keep that in mind when I don’t talk about my mom often or speak in length about our his­tory before you do get a chance to meet her. I say all this to remind you not to judge me because my mom and I aren’t close. You could be dis­miss­ing a good thing for a poor reason.

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