Month in Review — January 2010

2010
02.03
grandmother's report card
Image by vic­to­ri­aber­nal via Flickr

As you recall, I made a list of goals for myself for 2010. One month in I will review my progress.

1) End the use of ehar​mony​.com when my sub­scrip­tion expires in January/February. I have been on this site for 18+ months and met some very nice peo­ple and even dated a hand­ful of ladies. I am burned out no longer actively engaged in fol­low­ing the ehar­mony process (trans­la­tion burned out), so I must move on and try something new.

This is done. Sub­scrip­tion ran out on Jan­u­ary 27th. Time for a break from this. Didn’t net me a major one but I did meet some nice peo­ple.  A+

2) Engage in one social activ­ity per week. This means get­ting out to a party, happy hour, con­cert, net­work­ing event … some­thing that is social and out among old and new friends.

I did pretty well with this one. Add in the net­work­ing event and I believe I get a 4/4 weeks. We will go with a B+ because I didn’t exceed expectations.

3) Try a new online dat­ing source as they become more and more pos­si­ble. Chem​istry​.com is a lead­ing con­tender at the current time.

Haven’t got­ten this one started yet. Incomplete.

4) Take one class that will fur­ther engage me in a social atmos­phere. I am think­ing about either a cook­ing class or per­haps a dance (salsa) class.

Have done some research on this but need to at least sign up for a cook­ing class and research more danc­ing salsa classes.  C

5) Try speed dat­ing one time.

Was actu­ally signed up for a char­ity speed dat­ing func­tion but it was post­poned. Will wait to see if this one is announced again or will find another one.   C

6) Con­tinue to more actively post entries on this blog regard­ing my dat­ing life. This has turned into a great source of ther­apy for myself.

So far so good with this one. Maybe a few more entries but I did well in Jan­u­ary. B–

7) Join a movie reviewing/movie view­ing club to first grow my inter­est in movies and also to attempt to meet other peo­ple ladies inter­ested in the same thing.

Have done noth­ing with this one. Need to get on the ball. D

8 ) Con­tinue to par­tic­i­pate in promis­ing social sport­ing activies (soc­cer, yoga) which lend them­selves to gen­uine meetings.

Yep. All over this one. Keep it going. Maybe more yoga too. A–

9) Trust my instincts with regards to red flags and warn­ing signs when (attempt­ing to) dat­ing someone.

Pretty solid as well. Didn’t slip up so far. B

10) Try to release all worry about meet­ing some­one and do my best not to dwell on cur­rent cir­cum­stances and develop a more pos­i­tive out­look. (This will by far be the most dif­fi­cult and hard­est to track).

As you can tell from the tenor of my last post here, this one has gone south quickly. Need to work on this for Feb­ru­ary. Will be a lit­tle chal­leng­ing because of Valentine’s Day, but let’s see what happens.

As you can see, I have plenty of work to do. Stay tuned for a March report after this month.

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Timing is a b*tch …

2010
01.31

I swear … this tim­ing thing just never works out how it is sup­posed to.

If tim­ing knew bet­ter, it would have arranged for the young lady who worked for me to be sin­gle and then NOT work with me. Long story but it just seems like an oppor­tu­nity missed.

If tim­ing knew bet­ter, it would make sure the girl I hit it off with last year wasn’t on a severe rebound and unable to see what was in front of her (me!).

Why does tim­ing still mess with me and just leave me won­der­ing week after week? I just don’t under­stand it. “Be Patient”. “Good things come to those who wait.” “Good things hap­pen to good peo­ple” Blah, blah, blah … Ugh …

It sure seems like I can’t catch a break. I will say that tim­ing did me favor by let­ting me see that this girl was a true flake. +1 point for tim­ing. You are still down –4 point.

I am about to go truly stir crazy. I feel like a top that is just spin­ning around and around with no direc­tion to go towards. This isn’t get­ting better.

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Feeling Discouraged

2010
01.25

Rebel

My sis­ter told me not to give up and started an EHar­mony account for me again.  I decided that I am busy, but ok, I will give it a shot.  I start talk­ing to this guy, and he asks to meet tomor­row.  Even though I am busy, I was look­ing for­ward to get­ting out of the house and meet­ing some­one new.  I check my EHar­mony account today, and he closed the match.  Reason?

Want to pur­sue other matches.”

I’m feel­ing dis­cour­aged.  I know I shouldn’t be like this for one per­son, but why is it so hard for me to find some­one?  Even my ex, who ruined my life, has found some­one, and I can’t find a sin­gle per­son? Am I des­tined to be alone?  I don’t want to be 40 and still dat­ing ran­dom guys. 

I hon­estly feel that there is some­thing wrong with me.  I’m so tired of peo­ple say­ing that I am beau­ti­ful, smart, and have it going on, and I will find some­one new.  It’s been how long, and I still can’t find a sin­gle person?

Should I give up? I am tired of being rejected. I really am.  It’s one of the rea­sons that I have been obsessed with work.  I hate feel­ing like no one wants to take a chance to be with me.  I’m 31, and I feel like the boat is leaving. 

I’m in Trouble

2010
01.21


I went to a party this past Sun­day and I real­ized I am in trou­ble. I was in a lounge/club and there were a few peo­ple there. As the party con­tin­ued, I became so focused on the music and what the DJ was play­ing, my inter­est in min­gling with the crowd waned quickly. Please note I was sup­posed to meet some peo­ple there but they no-showed so I was left there kind of alone (which is cool). I did see some peo­ple there that I knew so we chat­ted for a bit. For the whole part of the night though, I was just groov­ing to the music. And felt good too. How­ever, I didn’t min­gle very much so the night would seem to be a fail­ure, right?

I’m in trou­ble and I don’t know how to get better.

Image cour­test of Michael Alan

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Do Inmates Deserve Love Too?

2010
01.16
My ques­tion to you there­fore is this: if an inmate has signed up for a dat­ing site that caters to their incar­cer­a­tion, is it ok? Does the fact that the site has already pre­de­ter­mined all users are behind bars make it clear enough, or should inmates be barred alto­gether from find­ing love online? Does what they’ve been con­victed of mat­ter, or should only cer­tain types of inmates be allowed to seek love online?

I think it depends on the crime. If they caused harm to some­one in any way, then they shouldn’t. How­ever, if it’s petty crime, why not?

My ques­tion to you there­fore is this: if an inmate has signed up for a dat­ing site that caters to their incar­cer­a­tion, is it ok? Does the fact that the site has already pre­de­ter­mined all users are behind bars make it clear enough, or should inmates be barred alto­gether from find­ing love online? Does … Posted via web from Love and the City